Perfection Does Not Exist

Girls look at the pretty lady on the cover of magazines and want to be them. They want her long blond hair, her size zero waist, her thirty two D bra size, her flat stomach, even her lips and her eyes. Young girls look at these women and see nothing but their flawless features. This is the goal they have set for themselves; perfection. Those women you see on the cover of magazines such as Seventeen or Vogue, are nothing more than a digital artist’s great Photoshop masterpiece. Girls of all ages, even as young as three years old, have been worrying about their body image. Young ladies need to know its ok to look different; that’s what makes you, you.

            A friend of mine took a Woman’s Studies course in college and her final term project was to make a PSA about body image. Click here to view her project.

            Body image is not something teenage girls deal with alone. Girls as young as three years of age know what it means to be considered fat. They think they will get teased at school if they have a little extra body mass compared to other kids. However the sad part is, that statement it very much true. Young girls compare themselves to others and feel the need to compete to be the skinniest girl in the room. Kids worry about becoming fat and they can tell when someone needs to lose a little weight. A little girl will say whatever is on her mind and she’s not afraid to tell someone they need to lose some weight. When the topic of making yourself look beautiful is on a child’s mind, just imagine what they’ll be like when they enter their teen years.

            Every week, girls spend an average of three and a half hours in front of the mirror. They look in the mirror and all they see are their flaws. They see giant thighs, big nose, too much fat around their stomach; the list goes on and on. If they were to spend half that time admiring how beautiful they are, their self-esteem could easily be ten times better. We are our worse critics and we focus primarily on our flaws, not our best features.

            Media portrays stunning women as being tall, thin, and big boobs. You see it everywhere you look. From models, to advertisement, to actresses, and even in toy dolls such as Barbie. This is one of the main stream ways for the media to corrupt female children into thinking they are not good enough to be beautiful. If they do not look like Barbie, then they’re not considered pretty. Barbie wears dresses, so little five year olds think they have to wear dresses to be pretty. Barbie has big boobs and a tiny waist. If your waist is bigger than your chest then you’re considered fat. Many public figures say we need to take care of our youth because they make up the future. If people truly believe this, then why are they telling little girls they need to look a certain way? By implanting that idea in the minds of children, it continues to grow into their adult years; which makes the future look pretty scary.

            Ladies need to know its ok to be different. Why would you want to look like someone who starves themselves and has bones popping out of their skin anyways? In reality, the models and actresses people perceive as being perfect are constantly being judged by how they look and act. Perfection is a nonexistent perception and girls need to realize they are perfect just the way they are.

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Role Models in a Girl's Life

Every girl has that one person to whom they look up to. Whether it be a parent, a sibling, a best friend, or even a movie star. Role models are an important figure in a young teen’s life. They want to be exactly like this person and look to them for advice and what to do in a bad situation. They want to follow in this person’s footsteps even though they know they sometimes can’t. Role models have a huge influence on our youth.

If you considered yourself a role model to anyone, especially if you’re in the public eye, you need to watch your step. If you’re not careful enough, you may steer some little girl down the wrong path of life unknowingly. You don’t want to ruin a fifteen year old girl’s life just because you made some poor decisions. They look up to you and want to be you. They’re going to follow you in every aspect of life. Meaning if you show them it’s cool to drink and do drugs, they’re going to drink and do drugs. That’s not the kind of example you should be setting for the people we call our youth. Knowing this, it puts an immense amount of pressure on you, or any other role model for that matter, to be on your best behavior.

When choosing a role model, try to pick someone who seems like they’ve got their life together; even when you know they probably don’t. Pick someone who’s strong in your eyes, not someone who will back away into a corner in the middle of a sticky situation. Look up to someone who you know will guide you in the right direction. However you must not think of them as the “you in ten years.” They are their own person just like how you need to be your own person as well. Your role model is just there to keep you on the right track of life. Don’t believe that you’re going to become them in all their fame and glory. Role models and mentors are here to help you grow into the beautiful butterfly you were meant to be.

My personal role model would be my older sister. She and I had to share a room together when we were kids and we became really close. We played dress up together, we played house, we even braided each other’s hair; which I know is kind of cliché when you think about the relationship between sisters. When we entered our teen years, she would tell me stuff that she didn’t feel courageous enough to tell my parents about; and vice versa as well. We would spend many late nights talking and laughing, just like old times. When I started high school as a freshman, she was a senior. I looked up to her for advice about boys, help in my classes, she even helped me find a little niche in high school where I seemed to fit in. Now that she’s in college I don’t talk to her as much, but I call her two or three times a week. She helped me grow into the person I am today and growing up isn’t going to stop me from thinking of her as my role model.

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Packing Lunch From Home

Depending on the school you attend, school food may or may not be your best option for lunch. At most high schools now a days, upper classmen can leave campus for lunch, which is always nice. However, not the most affordable. Unless you’re parents are super rich, you’ll most likely not have a big enough budget to support going out to eat every day. I’m not saying school food is not healthy or not good, however I am saying that everyone has different taste buds and may not like the choices offered at school; especially at a public school. Bringing your own lunch may seem a little dorky at first, because according to some people, taking your own lunch after elementary school is uncool. Once you reach high school however, no one seems to care anymore.

One advantage of packing your own lunch is that you get to decide what you eat. At school there are multiple choices to choose from, but I can guarantee there are twice as many options at home; unless your mom hasn't gone to the grocery store in a while. There are healthier options too. School lunch is all funded by the state and they like to save money as much as possible. So they pick the cheapest kind of good to serve students. Cheap is not always the healthy. The majority of school’s food is processed, however thanks to Michelle Obama, schools are looking into getting more fruits and veggies in cafeteria that aren't ridiculously expensive. With packing your own lunch, you can decided how much processed food goes into your body. You are the one packing the lunch, so you decide. Also thanks to Michelle Obama, many schools have now gotten rid of desserts in the lunch line. This has caused a little bit of an uprising in students all across the country. Kids love sugar and schools have taken away the one and only unhealthy option kids have. If you chose to not eat school lunch, you can add a little something extra like a cookie or cupcake that will most definitely make your friends jealous.

Another advantage of a lunch from home is that you don’t have to wait in a long line to get your food. Most high schools only give their students a half an hour to eat lunch. If a kid is spending twenty minutes in line, that leaves ten minutes to eat; which is not enough time. Lunch is a time for kids to unwind in between classes. A time for them to socialize with their friends. A time for them to take a break from learning. This way, when they get back to class they’re focused and ready to learn.

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No Makeup Selfie

One of the most popular slang words of today’s age is “Selfie.” All these girls going around saying, “Let me take a selfie.” It’s amazing how this one little word can take over pop culture. Most of the pictures you see on social media sites are selfies. One of the most famous selfies was taken by none other than Ellen Degeneres at the 2014 Oscar Academy Awards. Ellen’s selfie also included Jennifer Lawrence, Brad Pitt, Bradley Cooper, and Meryl Streep. Another more famous type of selfie is one called the “No Makeup Selfie” which has gotten quite the publicity these past couple of years.

            The no makeup selfies addresses the problem young girls have about their body image. Many girls feel the need to spend hours on end in the morning applying and reapplying pounds of makeup every day. A person’s face can only hold so much makeup. What most girls don’t realize is that they look pretty ugly with all those cosmetics caked on their skin than they would if they just wore their beautiful all natural face.

            Women of all ages post selfies of themselves wearing no cosmetics of any kind to show others that they don’t care what society thinks about them. They know they’re beautiful without all the makeup and they want to show it. They want others to be inspired by their boldness and take off the mask they call makeup and show the world the real you.

             If you’re embarrassed of what’s underneath, hiding behind make up will only do more damage. The chemicals will get into your pours and make your acne get even worse. Certain cosmetics can cause rashes if you’re not careful enough too. Even if you don’t feel confident enough to go out in public with your natural face, the least you can do is take it off before you go to bed every night. Many girls leave their makeup on while sleeping and all those long hours of sleeping and dreaming will cause the makeup to seep into your pours. It doesn’t help that you apply even more makeup in the morning either.

            Going all natural is great, however adding a touch of makeup doesn’t hurt either. As long as it’s subtle, you’re in the clear. Adding a little foundation to cover up those red spots or pimps is ok; as long as you haven’t popped the pimple. Applying foundation or any type of makeup to a popped pimple could cause serious damage such as infection because the makeup clogs up your pours, creating even more pimples. Adding s brush or two of blush on top of the foundation adds a little color to your cheeks without making it look as if you’re as orange as a traffic cone or as white as a ghost. A few strokes of mascara could also help your eyes pop, however don’t keep applying it to make your eyelashes look fuller. Subtlety can go a long ways. Eye liner doesn’t hurt either however you have to be careful with this one. Don’t apply too much to the bottom eyelid because it looks pretty tacky to have the bottom darker than the top; let’s just say you may resemble a raccoon if your eyes water or you sweat too much.

            Many women, both teens and adults, don’t realize how subtle makeup really needs to be to show a difference. You don’t need any makeup at all for that matter. These types of selfies women are posting help the younger generation not feel so insecure about themselves, which is something many teens have to work on.

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To Be a Social Butterfly

The transition from elementary school to middle school or middle school to high school can be pretty scary. It’s a big change, especially from elementary school to middle school. You go from sitting in one class with the same teacher to having six different teachers and going from class to class. Not having classes with any of your friends can also be hard on a kid starting middle school for the first time. Stepping out of your comfort zone and getting to know people is definitely a start.

If you sit down in your first hour class and don’t recognize anyone, start up a conversation with the kid next to you. Be friendly but not too friendly. You don’t want them to think you’re clinging and stalkerish, because then they will most certainly not try to be friends with you. Shy people tend to have a hard time being the first one to start up a conversation. If this is you, just give them a smile. Smiling is the first step in starting a conversation. Ask them about their other classes or if they’ve heard anything about this teacher. Once you get past the awkward “don’t know what to talk about” stage, begin to ask them about their friends and family. Or what they like to do in their free time or on the weekends. You may never know what you have in common with that person till you get to know them.

The transition from middle school to high school may be a little different. It’s similar to middle school in a way that you move from class to class and you have six or seven different teachers. Although with high school comes more freedom; especially as you move up in grade. At most schools, the teachers let the upperclassmen leave campus for lunch and trust you to make the right decisions and be safe. With this new freedom, invite someone to go to lunch with you. It may be a little awkward at first to ask someone to lunch if you don’t know them very well, but this is an opportunity to get to know them. If you decide to stay at school for lunch, ask someone if you can sit with them. Nine times out of ten they’ll say yes. If they say no, then don’t fret about it and move on. Rude people are not worth your time.

Stepping out of your comfort zone is just one way to learn more effective social skills. If you continuously do something that makes you feel uncomfortable, you eventually become more familiar with the situation. Having these social skills will make it easier for you to approach people and be more assertive, which is something many people look for in a relationship or even when applying for a job.

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Sisters by Chance, Friends by Choice

You can’t pick your family; you get stuck with whomever fate would like to put you with. Even if you don’t believe in fate or a God, you still don’t get the option of choosing what kind of family you’re born into or the type of brother or sister comes out of your mommy’s tummy. Unfortunately life just does not work like that. You have to put up with the family you’re given and don’t throw a fit about it. You may not like your family but they do so much for you that you don’t even realize it until it’s too late. Families will fight and the storm might get pretty nasty; but that’s human nature. In every storm, there’s always something beautiful that comes out of it. You just have to stick around long enough to see it for yourself.

To give you a little back ground information, I am the second daughter out of four girls. I've lived with both of my biological parents and sisters my whole life. This blog post is written in the perspective of a middle child who doesn't have a split family. I’m not saying all families are like this and I am not speaking for any other type of families. I feel as if I have no right in doing so seeing as I did not grow up in those types of conditions.

As a kid, I was obviously jealous of my little sisters when they were born because I was no longer the baby of the family. This is a natural phase that all older siblings go through. They don’t like the fact that this little person just shows up and attracts all the attention they once had. As they get older however, they begin to like having a little sister around. She’s someone you can use as a scapegoat so you don’t get into trouble. She’s the guinea pig for all the scary stuff you’re afraid to do; like unplugging the drain in the bathtub to make sure you don’t get sucked down under. She’s the person who volunteers to play the bag guy, just to make sure you’ll play with her and not exclude her for not cooperating. She’s also the girl you’ll go to when you have a problem that you don’t feel courageous enough to tell your parents about. You’re sisters by chance, but friends by choice.

Fighting with sisters can get pretty ugly, especially in their teen years. Girls tend to fight more with words than with fists; so when I say ugly I don’t mean bloody lip or blackened eye. I mean more of calling her the B word and saying “I hate you and never want to speak to you again,” kind of thing. Just remember ladies, you may be ridiculously mad at her for whatever she did or didn't do, but she’s your sister and at the end of the day nothing else really matters. She could die unexpectedly the next day and you wouldn't want to have the last thing you said to her be the nasty words of I hate you. Life is short and you must find a way to make the best out of a bad situation.

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Things to Carry in Your Purse

Most girls can’t to go anywhere without a purse of some sort. Boys don’t seem to realize how important it is for girls to have a bag that’s filled with very important things. However, boys do have a point when they say girls don’t need to carry around five pounds of makeup. Here are the most essential things a girl should have in her purse when going out.

            If you’re a girl who has long hair, you know how it is when it just doesn’t want to stay. Or if you’re one of those girls with baby hairs that seem to never want to lay flat, bobby pins seem to be your best friend. Carrying a little baggy or even a few stuffed in your wallet isn’t a bad idea. Whether you’re trying to hold back your bangs or even picking a lock, you never know when they’ll come in handy.

            Teenagers are notorious for their acne prone skin. If you apply a dab of concealer on a pimple while still at home, it’ll look great in your bathroom mirror but not so much an hour later. Packing a tube of concealer would prove to be helpful when you excuse yourself to the ladies room and notice the redness is back.

            You would be surprised at how often cash comes in handy. Whether it be treating yourself to an ice cream cone or to pay the meter. It's always a good idea to have a couple bucks on you, although it’s unnecessary to carry more than $50, unless you're going on a shopping spree of some sort.

            Especially in the winter, girls tend to have really chapped lips. You could easily prevent this from happening if you applied Chap Stick to their lips ever couple of hours. The same goes for your hands. Carrying around a small bottle of hand lotion doesn't hurt either. Trust me, both your lips and hands will thank you.

            Girls are more susceptible to migraines and for most girls, Advil does the trick. If you know you’re going to be gone awhile, pack Advil so that migraine doesn't get even bigger by the time you get home.

            Girls need to be careful when it comes to going places alone. Having a defense mechanism hidden in your purse can easy save your life. Pepper spray is small and can fit nicely in a purse of any size. This way you have a way to defend yourself of you're ever attacked.

            Once you smell the delicious aroma of fried food in the food court, your tummy is bound to growl at least a little bit. Having a snack such as a granola bar or fruit snacks stored in your bag will hold you over until you get home. This way you're not spending all your money on unhealthy food.

            Ladies, you know Mother Nature loves surprising you unexpectedly. No girl should ever be stuck in a bathroom stall in a public place all because they weren't prepared for it. Keeping a spared pad or tampon in your bag will prevent those awkward and uncomfortable situations.

            Having all the right necessaries with you while you’re out and about is very important, especially because girls are known for being prepared for any situation. You may never know when the simplest things can come in handy.