Sisters by Chance, Friends by Choice

You can’t pick your family; you get stuck with whomever fate would like to put you with. Even if you don’t believe in fate or a God, you still don’t get the option of choosing what kind of family you’re born into or the type of brother or sister comes out of your mommy’s tummy. Unfortunately life just does not work like that. You have to put up with the family you’re given and don’t throw a fit about it. You may not like your family but they do so much for you that you don’t even realize it until it’s too late. Families will fight and the storm might get pretty nasty; but that’s human nature. In every storm, there’s always something beautiful that comes out of it. You just have to stick around long enough to see it for yourself.

To give you a little back ground information, I am the second daughter out of four girls. I've lived with both of my biological parents and sisters my whole life. This blog post is written in the perspective of a middle child who doesn't have a split family. I’m not saying all families are like this and I am not speaking for any other type of families. I feel as if I have no right in doing so seeing as I did not grow up in those types of conditions.

As a kid, I was obviously jealous of my little sisters when they were born because I was no longer the baby of the family. This is a natural phase that all older siblings go through. They don’t like the fact that this little person just shows up and attracts all the attention they once had. As they get older however, they begin to like having a little sister around. She’s someone you can use as a scapegoat so you don’t get into trouble. She’s the guinea pig for all the scary stuff you’re afraid to do; like unplugging the drain in the bathtub to make sure you don’t get sucked down under. She’s the person who volunteers to play the bag guy, just to make sure you’ll play with her and not exclude her for not cooperating. She’s also the girl you’ll go to when you have a problem that you don’t feel courageous enough to tell your parents about. You’re sisters by chance, but friends by choice.

Fighting with sisters can get pretty ugly, especially in their teen years. Girls tend to fight more with words than with fists; so when I say ugly I don’t mean bloody lip or blackened eye. I mean more of calling her the B word and saying “I hate you and never want to speak to you again,” kind of thing. Just remember ladies, you may be ridiculously mad at her for whatever she did or didn't do, but she’s your sister and at the end of the day nothing else really matters. She could die unexpectedly the next day and you wouldn't want to have the last thing you said to her be the nasty words of I hate you. Life is short and you must find a way to make the best out of a bad situation.

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Things to Carry in Your Purse

Most girls can’t to go anywhere without a purse of some sort. Boys don’t seem to realize how important it is for girls to have a bag that’s filled with very important things. However, boys do have a point when they say girls don’t need to carry around five pounds of makeup. Here are the most essential things a girl should have in her purse when going out.

            If you’re a girl who has long hair, you know how it is when it just doesn’t want to stay. Or if you’re one of those girls with baby hairs that seem to never want to lay flat, bobby pins seem to be your best friend. Carrying a little baggy or even a few stuffed in your wallet isn’t a bad idea. Whether you’re trying to hold back your bangs or even picking a lock, you never know when they’ll come in handy.

            Teenagers are notorious for their acne prone skin. If you apply a dab of concealer on a pimple while still at home, it’ll look great in your bathroom mirror but not so much an hour later. Packing a tube of concealer would prove to be helpful when you excuse yourself to the ladies room and notice the redness is back.

            You would be surprised at how often cash comes in handy. Whether it be treating yourself to an ice cream cone or to pay the meter. It's always a good idea to have a couple bucks on you, although it’s unnecessary to carry more than $50, unless you're going on a shopping spree of some sort.

            Especially in the winter, girls tend to have really chapped lips. You could easily prevent this from happening if you applied Chap Stick to their lips ever couple of hours. The same goes for your hands. Carrying around a small bottle of hand lotion doesn't hurt either. Trust me, both your lips and hands will thank you.

            Girls are more susceptible to migraines and for most girls, Advil does the trick. If you know you’re going to be gone awhile, pack Advil so that migraine doesn't get even bigger by the time you get home.

            Girls need to be careful when it comes to going places alone. Having a defense mechanism hidden in your purse can easy save your life. Pepper spray is small and can fit nicely in a purse of any size. This way you have a way to defend yourself of you're ever attacked.

            Once you smell the delicious aroma of fried food in the food court, your tummy is bound to growl at least a little bit. Having a snack such as a granola bar or fruit snacks stored in your bag will hold you over until you get home. This way you're not spending all your money on unhealthy food.

            Ladies, you know Mother Nature loves surprising you unexpectedly. No girl should ever be stuck in a bathroom stall in a public place all because they weren't prepared for it. Keeping a spared pad or tampon in your bag will prevent those awkward and uncomfortable situations.

            Having all the right necessaries with you while you’re out and about is very important, especially because girls are known for being prepared for any situation. You may never know when the simplest things can come in handy.

Bullying Really Can Hurt

High school can be tough for many girls; especially when it comes to your social status. If you’re not “cool” enough, the popular girls won’t invite you to sit with them at their lunch table. Who decides who’s cool and who’s not? Certainly not those cliquey preppy girls. In middle school, bullying took the form of being shoved in the hallway or stealing someone’s gym clothes. High school is a whole other jungle or dirty words and nasty comments. With today’s technology of social media, girls have the whole wide world of bullying within their Channel Red painted fingers nails.

You may not be able to tell from the outside, but a girl’s soul is full of her deepest and darkest secrets. You don’t know if she’s dealing with bullying or not from just glancing at her in the hallway. Girls are more susceptible to cyber-bullying because girl’s fight with words while boys fight with fists. Old fashion female bullying consisted of saying something bad about another girl behind their back, or even to their face. Now they can hide behind a username on Facebook or Twitter. It’s easier for them to get away with bullying because you can’t always prove it’s them. Many girls don’t think they’re bullying when they text each other mean comments about that awkward girl in their history class. Words can hurt people more than spoken words because of the long lasting effect they have. She doesn't have to hear it just once, but that poor girl you made fun of can keep coming back to read and reread what was said about her.

Looking at a girl, you may not be able to tell what’s going on in their life; however, there are those cases where it’s obvious she’s getting bullied. If people refuse to be around her because of the way she acts or dresses is a big warning sign that she’s getting bullied. No girl deserves that. If you see someone sitting by themselves at lunch, whether it be a girl or guy, go sit with them. It just might make their day to have company while eating lunch. And who knows, you may actually enjoy the company too.

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Not So Dumb Marilyn Monroe

Marilyn Monroe started her career while working in a munitions factory in Burbank, California, where she was discovered by a photographer. She wasn't born into the business like all the stars you see today. She had a tough childhood. Her modeling career led her to become an actress and she signed her first movie contract in 1946. Some of her most famous movies include The Seven Year Itch (1955), Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953), and Some Like it Hot (1959). She soon become Hollywood’s most popular actress, along with the most prominent sex symbol. Every guy wanted her and every girl wanted to be her. She had many affairs with some very important men; such as the President of the United States, John F. Kennedy.

            Marilyn Monroe may have been considered a sex symbol of her time, but that doesn't mean she wasn't a strong and independent women. In the era of the 1950’s and 60’s, women were supposed to stand by their man and not speak unless spoken to. If women wanted to do something, they had to tell their husband and have them get it for them. Monroe was wanted by numerous men all over the world. If she asked for something it was brought to her right away. However she was very independent when it came to her personal decisions, such as her career. In the late 1950’s, Monroe was tired of playing the dumb blonde type and began studying acting with Lee Strasberg at the Actors' Studio in New York City. She wanted people to take her more seriously and not think of her as just a bubbly blonde who was pretty. She wanted the brains as well as the beauty.

            Marilyn Monroe was considered beautiful in her time; which explains why she was considered a huge sex icon in the 50’s and 60’s. To this day, men still drool over her gorgeous body. Women on the other hand, consider her attractive, but fat. Today’s society has told us that to be considered beautiful, you must be skinny. To be considered skinny, you cannot have any body fat and must have a stick figured body. In Monroe’s day, an hourglass figure was considered beautiful. Young female teens especially should look up to Miss Monroe because of her stunning body, not that toothpick thin model they see in Victoria Secret magazines.

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Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow

Death is a part of life, there’s no way around that. If we didn't have death, the world would be over populated to the point where life wouldn't be sustainable. Every living organism goes through the circle of life with death being at the very end. Thinking about death and the different ways to go can be horrifying to some and reassuring to others. It all just depends on your outlook of life. No one likes to see a loved one go on to a better place, however the way some people cope with the pain is unhealthy.

Coming to terms with the fact that he or she is gone is one of the first steps of the grieving process. You shouldn't pretend that they’re still here and they’re just out running an errand at the store. Once they have taken their last breath, they’re gone. They won’t give you hugs or a friendly smile anymore. They won’t send you birthday or Christmas cards in the mail. They won’t be there to take a picture with you when you reach those milestone moments such as your graduation or wedding day. Pretending that they’re still here but not in front of you is preventing you from moving on with your life.

Talk to someone. Don’t hide all your emotions inside and keep them bottled up. One day you’re going to get upset about something very little and unimportant, and that’s when all the tears and sorrows are going to come flooding out of you. All it takes is one hole in the dam to result in the whole thing collapsing. If you don’t have anyone specific to talk to, think about going to a therapist. They are there to listen and help you, not to judge you. If you don’t have the money for a therapist or don’t feel comfortable talking to a complete stranger about your problems, try video diaries. Set up a camera on a shelf or a counter of some sort, sit in front of it and talk for as long as you have to. You would be surprised at how fast everything will come pouring out of you. All the worries and sorrows will seem like nothing at all once they’re all out. When they’re cooped up inside your head for months or even years on end, they’ll begin to plant an idea in your head. The idea that you can never be happy without this person in your life so why bother try. Saying your problems out loud helps you realize that they’re true. That it’s not something your mind has been making up.

Closure is one of the last steps of grieving. This step may take the longest, or it may end up being the shortest. It all depends on the person and the way they see life. Many people want their loved one’s death to be justified. If he or she died at the hand of someone else, they want that person to be put away for what they took from them. If a disease is what took their loved one, such as cancer for example, a lot of people won’t find closure until cancer has been defeated. However, closure could also be considered acceptance. Accepting everything that happened to not only their loved one but themselves included. Rejoicing in the fact that the person they love is not suffering anymore can set someone’s soul free from despair and loneliness.

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College Bound Girl

As senior year begins and everyone talks about how they want to get out of here as soon as possible, many senior students haven’t considering the very obvious question. What comes next? May seems like a ways away, however the end of your high school career tends to sneak up on a lot of people. They don’t realize that time is running out and they have to make quick decisions about their future that take more than a couple of seconds to make. As May draws nearer, seniors get wrapped up in graduation, prom, graduation parties, summer jobs, etc. The seniors that have thought through their college plans have the luxury of sitting around and thinking about all those things. However, that’s not the case for many.

            Start your college search as soon as possible. Those people that are over achievers even started during their junior year. Taking college tours and begin looking at what careers are out there for them is a big first step in applying for college. If you don’t have a clue as to what you want to do or major in, that’s ok too. Many students switch majors once or twice while in college. As long as you have a general idea, you’ll be fine.

            College tours are a great way to figure out if a certain college is a right fit for you. You can go on a weekend that’s open to the public; however I find it easier and more beneficial to schedule your own private visit because instead of being in a large group, you have your own personal tour guide and advisor. Asking questions on a college tour is very important. You won’t get much out of the tour without asking the right kind of questions. Good questions to ask are questions involving tuition rates, financial aid, class sizes, professors in a certain major, dorm room related questions, etc. Don’t be afraid to ask too many questions.

            Once you have your college selected, it’s time to apply. Many colleges have easy applications online. All you have to do is fill out your personal information, then go to your school’s counselor and ask them to send your official transcript to that particular college. Depending on when the college is accepting applications, you should receive word from them within a week or two.

            If you get accepted, congrats and obviously you have to do your happy dance! Depending on the college, they should tell you what you have to do to register for housing and such in your admissions letter. College is a big step in life and in your career. It’s ok to figure things out along the way and make mistakes. Just make sure you learn from those mistakes and take it seriously.

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Be Yourself Ladies

Walking around in the halls of high school or driving around town, girls are constantly wondering what others think of them. They're wondering if their hair looks ok, or if they have something in their teeth, or they’re wondering if someone can tell they have a giant pimple on their face that’s very noticeable. Guys wonder about similar things, just not as much as girls. Girls feel pressured to look perfect because of the current society we live in. What most people don't know is that there is no such thing as perfection and it’s time girls start believing that.

            Girls spend hours every day trying to make themselves look pretty. Nine times out of ten, when girls leave the house they don't feel like they're pretty enough. They think if they would've had ten extra minutes they could look ten times better. Perfection never comes because it doesn't exist. You are your worst critique. You believe there’s always something wrong with the way you look and you feel the need to fix it.

            Girls judge other girls. It’s the human nature of the female gender. One of the reasons girls feel the need to look good is to impress not only boys, but other girls as well. Girls who don't feel accepted by society try to make themselves fit in by looking up to those considered “popular.” And those considered “popular” want to be perfect because they feel like they have to keep their status of being “popular.” The fact of the matter is that there is no such thing as being “popular.” Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

            Girls are under the impression that they have to be perfect to please a guy. Because of this, many guys are expecting girls to be perfect, which adds more pressure to girls feeling like they have to be better than they really are. Where does the cycle end? Ladies, we live in a man’s world but that doesn't mean we have to let them run our lives. Showing guys that girls are perfect just the way they are can be difficult, but not impossible. Be yourself. If a guy makes you feel like you have to change to be with him, he is not worth your time. Walk down the halls with your head up and a confident attitude. You are beautiful in every way and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

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