Thursday, October 9, 2014

Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow

Death is a part of life, there’s no way around that. If we didn't have death, the world would be over populated to the point where life wouldn't be sustainable. Every living organism goes through the circle of life with death being at the very end. Thinking about death and the different ways to go can be horrifying to some and reassuring to others. It all just depends on your outlook of life. No one likes to see a loved one go on to a better place, however the way some people cope with the pain is unhealthy.
Coming to terms with the fact that he or she is gone is one of the first steps of the grieving process. You shouldn't pretend that they’re still here and they’re just out running an errand at the store. Once they have taken their last breath, they’re gone. They won’t give you hugs or a friendly smile anymore. They won’t send you birthday or Christmas cards in the mail. They won’t be there to take a picture with you when you reach those milestone moments such as your graduation or wedding day. Pretending that they’re still here but not in front of you is preventing you from moving on with your life.
Talk to someone. Don’t hide all your emotions inside and keep them bottled up. One day you’re going to get upset about something very little and unimportant, and that’s when all the tears and sorrows are going to come flooding out of you. All it takes is one hole in the dam to result in the whole thing collapsing. If you don’t have anyone specific to talk to, think about going to a therapist. They are there to listen and help you, not to judge you. If you don’t have the money for a therapist or don’t feel comfortable talking to a complete stranger about your problems, try video diaries. Set up a camera on a shelf or a counter of some sort, sit in front of it and talk for as long as you have to. You would be surprised at how fast everything will come pouring out of you. All the worries and sorrows will seem like nothing at all once they’re all out. When they’re cooped up inside your head for months or even years on end, they’ll begin to plant an idea in your head. The idea that you can never be happy without this person in your life so why bother try. Saying your problems out loud helps you realize that they’re true. That it’s not something your mind has been making up.
Closure is one of the last steps of grieving. This step may take the longest, or it may end up being the shortest. It all depends on the person and the way they see life. Many people want their loved one’s death to be justified. If he or she died at the hand of someone else, they want that person to be put away for what they took from them. If a disease is what took their loved one, such as cancer for example, a lot of people won’t find closure until cancer has been defeated. However, closure could also be considered acceptance. Accepting everything that happened to not only their loved one but themselves included. Rejoicing in the fact that the person they love is not suffering anymore can set someone’s soul free from despair and loneliness.

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